December 15, 2004
The Legend of GWAR began millions of years ago when these aliens rampaged across the galaxy with a gang of space pirates called the Scumdogs of the Universe. Falling out of favor with their Master, GWAR was imprisoned on the most remote mudball planet in the galaxy... Earth. After killing off the dinosaurs and inadvertently creating the human species by breeding with prehistoric apes, GWAR began to significantly influence the development of the planet, until a particularly wild gig in Atlantis, when it was decided that GWAR should be entombed in Antarctica, preventing them from screwing up Earth any further.
Several thousand years later, GWAR were stumbled upon and awakened by Sleazy P. Martini, a known pimp, pusher, pornographer, and record executive for Capitalist Records, who accidentally stumbled into GWAR’s Antarctic tomb and woke them. He took them to New York, gave them electric guitars, and began to market them as his latest Rock-n-Roll sensation. Some of GWAR’s adventures are chronicled in their albums, comics, and videos, but there are still plenty of GWAR stories waiting to be told.
“The Legend of GWAR began millions of years ago when these aliens rampaged across the galaxy with a gang of space pirates called the Scumdogs of the Universe.”
Now the only way to truly validate your life before death is to join the masses of “lowly zit-ridden scum of outcast prepubescence“ when GWAR comes to ravish and bloody your mutant town.